Sexercise

It has been known for many years that Sex was good exercise, but
until now nobody had made a scientific study of the calorie content
of different sexual activities. Now after "original and proprietary"
research the results are in:


REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent = 12 Calories
Without her consent = 2187 Calories


OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands = 8 Calories
With one hand = 12 Calories
With your teeth = 485 Calories

PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection = 6 Calories
Without an erection = 3315 Calories

PRELIMINARIES:
Trying to find the clitoris = 8 Calories Trying to find the G-Spot =
4092 Calories

POSITIONS:
Missionary = 12 Calories
69 lying down = 78 Calories
69 standing up = 812 Calories
Wheelbarrow = 216 Calories
Doggy Style = 326 Calories
Italian chandelier = 2912 Calories (What the heck?)

ORGASMS:
Real = 112 Calories
Fake = 1315 Calories

POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging = 18 Calories
Getting up immediately = 36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately = 816 Calories

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:
If you are:
20-29 years = 36 Calories
30-39 years = 80 Calories
40-49 years = 124 Calories
50-59 years = 1972 Calories
60-69 years = 7916 Calories
70 and over = Results are still pending

DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly = 32 Calories
In a hurry = 98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door = 5218 Calories With your wife
knocking at the door = 13,521 Calories